I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. And rather dramatic too. Soooo, not really the best combination for a calm and peaceful existence. Seriously, the shit that goes on and the scenarios that I create - ALL IN MY HEAD - are astounding!!! Luckily, Mr is the complete opposite and often calms this runaway train down. It was probably madness then on my part to throw into the mix a precious and gorgeous, but in my mind, utterly vulnerable, baby. O.M.G... total mayhem in the head space!
The craziness started while I was pregnant. I had my 1st scan at 7 weeks - yes, 7 weeks people!! - because I was so paranoid about losing this wee peep. Of course, the scan was fine... turns out that you can be a bit crampy and then not. And then a bit crampy and then not. All totally normal. One would think that after I' d passed the dreaded 12 week mark, I'd calm down. Oh no. I then accidentally listened to the words of Ed Sheeran's 'Small bump' and that sent me on a whole new tangent. My problem is that I need the information about what's worrying me - so that I can spot the symptoms/first shows/whatever - and so I research the bejeebers out of said concern, becoming slightly obsessed. Then I freak myself out because I believe so strongly in the Law of Attraction and 'your thoughts create things', that I go in completely the opposite direction and totally avoid ANYTHING related to said obsessed topic, while in reality, it still simmers under the surface. Its not a good system as you can imagine!!!
Great news though! MiniMr arrived in one whole and healthy piece. 'Sorry, what was that about SIDS?? And what are the stats?? Around 60 die in New Zealand a year! Wow! That's a lot.' And then starts the mind jabber, and here we go... I over research, freak myself, step away, ignore but still quietly freak myself out. Like I said, not a good system.
So I've been stressing about the first time MiniMr gets sick. So much so, that I kept him away from 'society and its filthy germs' until he was 12 weeks old, and now spend what I consider a unreasonable time at the doctors... I'm starting to get quite embarrassed every time I see MiniMr's doctor!
Ear infections are my latest obsession. We've been twice already for that and no, there was nothing. And then last week, MiniMr had a very unsettled night, more crying than usual, wouldn't go into his cot, just not himself. He seemed to have another cold, and craddling/pulling of the ears was taking place. Now, that's why I took him the first two times, you see... but apparently, at this age, they've just kind of found a new toy to pull and tug on so its not necessarily sore ears, plus they can't actually identify where the pain is... they know that they are uncomfortable, but they wouldn't know its their ears, if you get what I mean.
So, I nearly didn't go to the doctor (see me trying to NOT be the drama queen!) but after another weird, and snotty, crying spell, I thought I'd phone the nurse instead and just have a chat. Just in case. She suggested I might as well come in, because, you know, rather be safe than sorry (one of my all time favourite justifications for health obsessions!). Well, HE HAD AN EAR INFECTION!!!! Poor little guy is hardly four months and already on antibiotics, which I despise, so I was feeling very sorry for myself. And MiniMr. And also a bit guilty because I just KNOW that this was the Law of Attraction in action. Thank goodness he's now had the effin ear infection and I can move onto other worries... like if the cramps I'm feeling is the return of aunty Flo and how this will affect my breastfeeding. Now what does Dr Google say about that, I'll just have a quick wee little look...