Huia aroha...

Having a baby has meant that on the weekends we get out A LOT  more in the day than we ever did. Probably something to do with the enforced early starts and that your time isn't really your own anymore... so long gone are the leisurely layins for half the morning followed by hours spent cruising Etsy and Pinterest and then a couple of DVDs and a takeaway.

Since it was such a lovely day in Auckland on Saturday, the three of us jumped into the car and headed to an old favourite -  Huia. We actually hadn't been there in AGGGEEESSSS and now that I think about it, MiniMr hadn't been at all, not even while in utero. When we lived out west, we used to go there quite often, but since we moved more centrally, the visits have been few and far between. So few and far between in fact that on arrival at the Huia Store (circa 1886), I was blown away by the changes as its now under new management and has the cute factor in bucket loads.

To be honest, I was always quite partial to it anyhoo and most visits included a burger and shake, but the new decor has really lifted its game. The only downside now though is that the burger and chips have gone gourmet, with the price tag to match. We got 1 x cookie, 1 x burger, 1 x shake and some wedges for $33... so a bit more than the average take-away. But, forewarned is forearmed, and since we only seem to make it out there every couple of months now, I'll save my pennies and fork out those Auckland prices as the food was pretty good, the service super friendly and the surrounds right up my alley. 

If you do decide to head that way, grab your grub takeaway to enjoy it on the beach, or have a meal in the ole-school surrounds and then get an ice-cream to enjoy at the water instead. Make sure though that you have a cardi as from my experience, its always a little cool down there.

   

And while we're on poop...

... check out this awesome advert for a rather interesting product. For reals. No jokes. I reckon this could save marriages. More deets here.  

I love poop...

© Paulbinet | Dreamstime Stock Photos &Stock Free Images

Well, actually, that's not true.... in fact, poop kinda grosses me out! It grosses me out so much that I don't think I could ever have any sort of pets because the idea of picking up their poop makes me feel ill. In fact, when I see dog walkers picking up their dog's poop in those little plastic bags and then TYING it to the dogs collar, I vomit a bit in my mouth. And while we're on that subject, isn't it a bit mean to tie the dog's poop that close to its head, which is the location of its nose?? Just wrong I tell you.

I'm also wholly unable to change the poop nappies of the small people in my life. And don't get me started on the toddlers... this bending over to have their little bums wiped after number twos elicits a serious gag reflex from me!!! I just CANNOT do it. I'm not even a huge fan of my own poop to be honest. I quite clearly remember being shocked when I watched a programme that said I should be checking it out before flushing for health purposes. No thank you. I'll just hope that there are other symptoms and warning signs to tip me off because eyeballing my poop WILL NOT BE HAPPENING!!

But then my wee boy arrived, and I became slightly obsessed with his poop. No amount of colour or volume seems to deter me and each one is looked over (studied??) before being disposed of. Strangely, it's his father that will not change his brown nappies... the very same man that once scrapped dog poop off his drunken brother's shoe with a twig!! (Yes, there is more to that story but that's all we need to make my point at this stage). And it seems I'm not alone in my new mother infatuation with copious websites available containing plenty of descriptive details, forums and pictures - yes, PICTURES - of what baby poop should look like.... all of which I've studied in detail. And let me tell you, when it comes to baby poop, there is a lot of variations of 'normal'.

You see, babies go through these stages....

-First, there's the meconium. This is black and tarry and lasts for the first few days. I can't really recall this stage in much detail as I was in such a daze.
-Then they move onto a very liquid, mustardy type poo that's a little seedy (this applies to  breastfed babies because, yup, you guessed it, bottle fed are totally different!). I remember these poops well; its hard not to when there's basically one in each and every nappy you change. Every 1-3 hours. All day. And all night. I especially remember the one that shot across our cream bedroom carpet like a well shook champagne bottle after a badly timed leg lift to wipe the precious backside of my newborn!!!!!!! That was fun at 1.30am. Not.
-And then you get to around 8 weeks or so and some babies (yes, only some, not all... and its totally normal!) start to go less. And less. And less. Apparently, if a baby is breastfed, its totally normal for some to NOT go for up to 2 weeks!!!! Now, I'm no expert... but that sounds NUTS!!!! Who eats and eats and eats and then doesn't poop. No. That just can't be comfortable. But, apparently  - 'totally normal'.

So, MiniMr got to around 8 or 9 weeks... and no more 'every nappy' poops. Weird thing was, he seemed to be pushing all the time. His favourite place to do this is on the breast. That's right, in effect, my son likes to poop while he's eating. Which is VERY amusing to watch as its a damned challenge for anyone, let alone a newborn whose still working things out, to SUCK and PUSH at the same time. And here's another interesting poo fact for you... its around this age that they have to start learning to push as it doesn't just sort of... well, drop out anymore like it used to I suppose. So they need to learn to push but relax their bums. One suggestion to teach them this mechanism is to massage their wee little backsides. As in literally their poophole. Mr's face when I told him this was priceless. He added something about it being good 21st birthday story fodder, and declared that he would under no circumstances be massaging his sons butthole. Ever. The other suggestion was a warm bath, with a warning to watch out when they come out. Crazy. Also, don't confuse delayed poos with constipation. Yes, easy error I know. But they are quite different.  

Anyway, long story short, MiniMr still does not go everyday. So when he does, its a good day in our house. I love poop days. More for me than him... he seems utterly unconcerned about it if he poos or not. Even after five days of working on a delivery that literally filled 2 nappies, 10 wet wipes and a plastic disposable bag. And I wasn't at home. Of course. But he pooped, and that's a good day. 

FYI - today was a good day too. Twice. 

So, I had a baby...

Yes, that's where I've been.... instead of blogging, I was working on getting myself knocked up (with some help of course from the hubs!) so that  I could have the dubious honour of saying I'd pushed something larger than my head (but thankfully a little more malleable) out of my wahoo. And then, surprise surprise - I HAD A BABY THAT I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR 24/7. As in all day, everyday, for every single minute. 

And it's turned my life upside down! 

'Ah, tell us something new!' I hear you yawn but its so incredibly true. This is the God honest truth.... YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE A MOTHER UNTIL YOU'RE ACTUALLY A MOTHER. And its RELENTLESS! 

Yes, that was meant to all be in caps. And bolded. 

It is bloody hard work. I'm a fully independent 36 year old woman that has lived away from home - as in more than a car ride - since I was 20 years old. And I cried for my mother like a little bitch, all the while trying desperately to keep it together on a mere few hours sleep and be a mom to this gorgeous wee little package that they'd let me leave hospital with and that fully owned my arse!  

Now that I think about it... pretty much from the moment I saw those glorious blue lines confirming my pregnancy, the little man has owned me. I could no longer eat what I wanted to (summer without soft serve it just not the same), I had gross morning sickness - that should actually be called 'all-day sickness' - that made me feel like I was permanently hung over, up until about 18 weeks. And for the 1st time in my life, I knew what it felt like to NOT have an appetite but have to eat because I felt sooooo sick. And I could no longer drink tea. 

Then that passes. Eventually. Although I couldn't drink tea again until after the birth. 

And that's when I started having problems sleeping. I, who can pretty much sleep anywhere, anytime, would lie awake in bed for aaaaggggeeeesssssssss, just willing myself to GO TO SLEEP! I swear, even during the very worst of my anxiety a few years back, my sleep - thankfully - was unaffected. And here I was, as wide awake as a meerkat after a red bull. And that never got any better; my sleep was shit through my whole pregnancy. And now that I'm not pregnant... I still get none! 

And then there was the weak bladder and - look away now if you're squeamish as this is definitely TMI - constant damp knickers! I near wet myself more than a few times after a cough or sneeze, once at the same time, so that when my waters broke, the 1st thing that came to mind was that I'd eventually done it and actually, literally pissed in my pants! But no, it was just my waters breaking 16 days early and on my last day of work. Luckily, it was 4.30am and I wasn't actually at work yet. But I did miss out on my morning tea and instead walked around at home like a leaky teapot for the rest of the day since I was one of only 10% of women whose waters break but don't go into labour. That fun started about 24 hours later and will need a post all of its own! 

But I've survived those hideous, awful, disruptive, soul destroying, sob-a-mania first 14 weeks and come out on the other side without killing either of us. Go me! 

And you know what; its such a cliche and I used to want to clock anyone in the mouth who told me that it would be... but it really is all worth it. 

Although at this point, my gorgeous wee boy will be an only child.

BBxx     

Good night, Mr Watson--wherever you are

It is said that in this world nothing can be certain except for death and taxes. Yet tax is so much easier to deal with, and one I’d take any day over death…. it’s the death part that’s the real bitch.

I got news this week that one of the guys I'd practically grown up with had died. He was there all through primary school, all through high school and all through a number of years after that. He was funny, and sweet, and really, really cheeky. That was his charm, and that is what I’ll remember the most.


But then I moved away from home and eventually overseas… and all that was left of those years was memories and faded photos I’d occasionally drag out when nostalgia hit. I can’t even remember the last time I saw him, or even when we spoke - it’s been more than 15 years at least I’m sure – but mutual friends had always kept me in the loop.

And then along came Facebook and reconnections were made. I’d see photos of him and smile. I'd laugh out loud at some of the comments he’d make and 'like' them. It was good to know again what was happening in the lives of those that had once been such a very important part of my own. And even though we weren’t as tight as we once may have been, I liked knowing that he was out there somewhere, living his life and just being the special guy I remembered from childhood. I liked knowing that although new memories were being made for both of us, we’d always be inextricably linked by mutual ones that can never be forgotten. And now I’m just so terribly, terribly sad that there will be no more memories for him.

So, Scotty, where ever you are, know that you will be so very missed by more people that you could ever imagine. And when you catch up with Henry, let him know that we miss him too. xxx

Flight of the Conchords... and their 'colution'!

I frecken LOVE THIS!!!! Admittedly, i'm quite partial to these dudes and think they are beyond genius - it's this sort of sh*t that makes me believe that even more - plus anything with kids, just being kids, and allowed to say what the hell they want to - is AWESOME!!! It's the 'colution', it seriously is! Watch and enjoy... and please donate to this worthy cause if you can.

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50 Shades of Grey… and Jodi Picoult

There has been plenty of hours worked, books read, navel gazing accomplished and the odd tantrum (or hundred) thrown in for good measure…. and all without even one teeny, tiny bit of blogging about it! Which i might add, in light of recently learning from the fabulous Ms Louise that i’m a bit of a story fondler– basic Martha Beck translation: i deal with stress by rehashing the offending stories to every poor sod that will listen – is rather interesting because it’s hardly been the best few months of my life and there would have been some real goodies to share!

But do not fret, two months later, here i am again to share and share and share some more. Oh, c’mon, you so know that you’ve missed my insightful takes on lifey things!

Today’s lifey thing is all around spanking, safe words and a naughty little book called Fifty Shades of Grey. I so tried to stay away from this one and not get sucked into the madness. I turned away from the ‘three book deals’ and made myself deaf to the heightening chatter… but eventually i could resist no more and The Book Depository got to add another purchase to my weighty history. And, yes, it was just as hot, just as horny and just as averagely written as I’d heard (does EL James have no other cuss words in her depository other than holy f*ck or holy crap???)… i quite enjoyed it - full review here.

But what truly fascinates me about this whole Fifty thing is how some things just grabs the world’s attention and suddenly, it’s trending online, it’s on talk shows galore, and snippets of discussions are caught everywhere from mommy coffee groups at the local cafe to the treadmill section at the gym.

That’s what i love… that there is just no way of predicting what’s going to go viral! It’s awesome that we humans are still so random, so fickle and so unpredictable that the things you least expect are the things that get the most attention. Fact in point – one of the most watched You Tube videos EVER is ‘Charlie bit my finger’… have you seen it?? It’s not that funny. I’ve seen much funnier things… like the sneezing panda, or the dog that tries to chew its own leg. And my husband laughed so hard at Afro Ninja, i thought he was having a hysteria produced coronary. But no, it was a little boy biting his brother’s finger that made it big. IT IS JUST SO RANDOM!

Which brings me onto my next tangent - the right to comment on something that you haven’t actually read, seen or experienced yourself! Oh, man, that PISSES ME OFF! So stand back… ‘cause here it comes!

So, i went and saw Jodi Picoult recently… she was in NZ promoting the book she has written with her daughter, Samantha van Leer. Her daughter was an absolute darl’, i'm sure her mother must be very proud of her. But Jodi… well, i must say her honesty on a lot of things was rather interesting. I thought that being famous didn’t leave a lot of room to say how you actually felt about stuff… or perhaps NZ is so far removed from the rest of the world, what you say here doesn’t count! Either way… it was refreshing and interesting… until she commented on Fifty Shades of Grey.

Now, i’m sure you all know about how this story found its beginnings. But just in case, i’ll add here that it was posted on a Twilight fan site as fan fiction. And i’ll also admit here, that when i first read the book, this i did not know and i did think that Christian Grey (CG) was a bit like Edward in some ways (okay… it was the hair… there aren’t that many leading men with copper coloured hair!). And then there was the minor detail that CG likes to well, how do we say, get a bit rough with his partners… whereas Edward won’t even TOUCH Bella… at least until much later. Jodi commented that EL James had plagiarised (not sure it was that exact word) Twilight to a degree and that she would not be taking it as well as Stephenie Meyer had because it’s downright unethical. Honestly, i can’t recall the exact wording because by this stage, there was ringing in my ears but I’m sure you get the gist. For me though, the real clanger was that SHE HADN’T EVEN READ THE BOOK!!!!! Which, in my eyes, means that you pretty much have to keep your comments to yourself!!!! If she had read the book, i’m she would have worked out that the stories were very, very, VERY different… but i kind of got the feeling that she felt too good for that sort of trash anyhoo!

But honestly Jodi, c’mon, there aren’t any truly original stories to be told anymore… just variations of the same themes. So why not give little EL James a break. Or read the book – then you can comment to your heart’s content.

Ok, i need a wee little lie down after that.

Kiss kiss love love

BBxx